when a blog becomes a blog...

December 7, 2008. The show has closed. Up and down in a few days and a mountain of growth in between. All along this blog has served as a way to record the process and research surrounding the production, but now, it's going to have to change (and soon end). There is no more production. And so, I blog.

All day today I have felt that feeling you get when summer camp ends and your parents arrive to separate you from those best-friends you made for a whole year. That fear that you may never have what you had again and yet you are so damn grateful for having it in the first place. I feel like Phillip: "no anguish I have had to bear has been too heavy a price for the new life I have entered in loving her." if I sub in "the play" for "her."

On the first day of rehearsals, the familial energy in the room was astounding. The cast brought with them a generosity and artistry a director can only dream of having. But they were a dream come true. And throughout the first reading, the comedy of THE MILL ON THE FLOSS was brought out. I said, "i never knew it was so funny." And then, for about 5 weeks, it wasn't funny, until the very final performance. And it was hilarious. The show came to life and with it came the humor... that which gets us through all the hard shit. I will spend time, listing out scene by scene, the surprises that arrived in performance.

1. The more love and joy between the family in the opening scenes, the clearer understanding we have of what is so worth fighting for. There is hope for a better life in Tom. A hope that is not placed upon Maggie, but she is better suited for. Every time an actor smiles or laughs, I think a fairy is brought back to life:)
2. The word "which" and the word "witch" are used so impressively throughout the play.
3. Maggie is NOT a witch. She drowns.
4. if we believe, they will believe it. (red deep ropes, cutting hair, daddy doll, ladder boat, devil hand, hump back.
5. it is worth risking great pain (or even life) for true love. and true love comes many times in life.
6. fishing for the lucy doll doesn't work. it was an idea from another production and doesn't belong in this one
7. When Mr. Tulliver dies, it's perfect to get a laugh. He is himself up to the final moment. It's no wonder Maggie loves him so much.
8. if you use every prop in the room (the oar is the mob tool) at least twice, it has so much more depth.
9. Design is meant to enhance the story, but it is not the story, the story lives in the actors connections and relationships.
10. Details are so important. life only exists in specifics, anything less is phony.
11. The audience rooted for Phillip. But that's because I aligned Stephen with the devil. There is another way to do this next time when all three men are equally enticing. Details in the thesis book.

That's all for now.

Recap of Week 4

This is going to be fun:
In rehearsal:
1. Judy choreographs 2/3 ball
2. Tested and executed major strokes of flood
3. Animal exercise led by Maggie 4 (our AD) with exploration of animal imagery from the novel
4. Work through of major notes from run of act one.
5. Prop-thru of act one (took a few hours, but it was worth it)
6. Exploration of scenes in Act 2 (got through about half)
7. Run through of Act One with vocal coach notes
8. Stage fourth witch hanging and nightmare
9. Work out gypsy/devil sequence

In design land:
Build ongoing
Load in began
Floor finalized
Experimentation with water and shiny items and light in light lab
Figuring out props and lanterns and electrics
Finished model box!
Ongoing costume fittings

This week:
Flour test
Test burlap in lab
Paper tech
Finish working Act 2
Finish staging Ball
Touch up notes from act one run
Head downstairs for tech!
Incorporate: fire, lucy fish, and flour in rehearsal
Run-thru

Eurhythmics
Roger Sessions: The Musical Experience
Dana Friedman
November 12, 2008

The very first reaction I had when I began reading this section of THE MUSICAL EXPERIENCE is that music can be understood in three major parts: the composer, player and listener. For nearly a year, I have been directing a play focused on three actors playing one character that is divided in three. So, for me, the significance of this does not feel light or without meaning. Three is such an important number in so many dimensions; I will list a few: Holy Trinity; Triple Goddess; Three Phases of Matter; and, my favorite-- ID, EGO, and SUPEREGO. In this book, the idea is that one really is reliant upon the other to make the circle complete. One has less purpose without the other and when all three come together, anything is possible.
If one thinks of the three as a culmination of what makes up the musical experience, and if one thinks of music as life, then the first moment of the music must be breath. I love the idea that our first impulse towards rhythm is breath. For the rest of our lives, we continue breathing, but is impossible not for every breath and everything else that follows not to be a distinct, however distant, reaction to that first breath. It is on impulse that we inhale and on impulse that we exhale, and we cannot live without continuing that process. We begin to use and understand rhythm from the inside out. His “Most important idea”: tension and release. Accumulation and exhalation. This is life: Up and down. Upbeat, downbeat, give and take, contrast. At the point you cannot continue, you change. The law of dialectic and the law of physics states that something will continue to increase until it hits a critical moment and then it will change into a new thing. I live by this law and I use it in my work every day. I think Sessions would too.
Impulse and response become interchangeable. What comes first has relevance because they only exist in relation to each other and in relation to the human senses of the listener. The conductor can choose a story, and a player can also make choices and execute with precision, skill and technique, but at the end of the day, the other sounds in the air, the breath of the people and the awareness of the human mind are all variables in the musical equation. Therefore rhythm and music and even sound can never be an exact equation. Rather, they are a series of actions and reactions that continue indefinitely. Though they can be controlled in many ways, the variations are as infinite as there are grains of sand. Because the same moment never occurs twice, the same sound cannot either. As humans, and as open individuals, we can enjoy the pleasure of knowing that we have little control and therefore the world of sound and music is filled with unlimited opportunities. In theory, as soon as we define something, that thing can no longer exist because there will be a reaction to that definition.
The musical ear discriminates based on awareness, knowledge, openness, emotional state, preference, associates, compartmentalizes, fills in the spaces between sounds. Lately, I have also been taking my first figure drawing class. I am not horrible at drawing because I have learned simple lessons in scale and perspective, line weight and shape. However, the element that is most exciting is negative space. Just like we fill in the spaces between sounds with our own ideas, I can draw a portrait of a nude body and leave out certain lines. The human mind will automatically fill it in with the information it has stored. No matter who the nude may be or what shape they are in reality, the imagination will inevitably takeover. I never thought about it in terms of music. But since I have had the visual experience, I can completely understand how we do the same thing with music. This is one form of discrimination. It is not a bad thing, but a fact of human nature and another example of why music can never be actually replicated or defined—because it is dependent on the human reaction.
Even consonance and dissonance are products of interpretation based on western definitions of sounds. The space between sounds is much more universally definable.
We have to define a standard and vary from there. We are working with dialects in the play I am directing as well. The play takes place in the 1860’s in Northern England. The dialect at the time cannot be literally determined because none of us lived during that time and there were no recording devices invented yet. However, we do know the terrain and the economic and socio-political information. We also know what these northern English dialect sounds like now. With this information, we can create a proposed dialect. The fact is, however, that all of the characters in the play come from different places and different walks of life. Their upbringing, occupation, gender and many other characteristics affect their vocal sounds and patterns. As a cast, we created a neutral standard dialect. From there, each character could make alterations based on their own detailed life. This “neutral” is a made up thing. It is not real. And neither are the variations, but for the sake of defining a world. We establish “consonance and dissonance” in terms of the neutral.
A composer is like a writer, creating an aural journey. She is an inventor of a “train of thought.” In theory, this “train” can be always judged subjectively because what the composer creates does not exist prior and therefore people can respond with taste. A person can respond objectively, with technical comparisons to another piece as well. This type of comparison is intellectually satisfying, but, in my opinion, has much less value. The purpose of music, to me, has less power functioning in technical ways than it does when it is attempting to tell a story or move the listener. Even if the purpose is solely for the player or conductor, if it does not resonate on an emotional level, the value is less. In many cases, this “train of thought” can be a marriage of left and right brain functioning. The more balanced both sides are, the effectiveness is most high.

On communicating with common vocabulary and creating a language of subjective terms, I have had a lot of experience. I know that Sessions didn’t necessarily mean this literally, but since I have a limited knowledge of the world of music on an academic level, I have found other ways to respond to what I hear. Sometimes I respond physically, but often in directing, I have to find words to discuss sounds and rhythms and music with musicians, singers and actors when I don’t know the proper terms or I am trying to expressive something emotional. Since I have been working with Ali as the cellist/witch character in my play, we immediately played a game to establish a vocabulary. She began to play, and I would say a word. The words, (like: lust, grief, pride, joy, blue, yellow, red, earth, wind, fire air), made Ali play and move a certain way. I was able to see how she took a word that we both understood and turned it into sound. By doing this enough, we had a new vocabulary to communicate. We also did this with the actors and it proved extremely helpful in getting them and Ali comfortable creating a dialogue with sound and movement.
The composer/player have to keep product and the listener’s reaction out of her head or it will inform the choices. When this happens, the sound/rhythm can be less honest. This is because the music is not trying to achieve a goal that can only be defined by the listener. This is only a road to disappointment. The story can be made clear, but the reaction to it must be open to interpretation. Otherwise, there would be a wrong way to hear something and that would be very sad. Leaving music open to interpretation allows for longevity and a recurring connection no matter era or age.
It is the Listener’s joy, opportunity and right to hear, enjoy, understand and discriminate. In a world based on polls and opinions and financial significance, I am grateful for a few sacred arts. Art for art sake, with purpose and presence, will not die.

By the end of week 3.

Creating the mess is a natural part of the rehearsal process. In having more ideas than are usable, it is inevitable to arrive at a point with a certain amount of chaos. Then, you start making a list, stripping away the fat, and checking off the items until what is left is a slick and purposeful piece of theatre.

Major accomplishments of Team Floss this week:
1. working through act one
2. creating clear stories from our imaginations of witch hangings
3. working the second fight with catherine
4. finding the how of the Maggie trade-off
5. deciding on a workable floor
6. clarifying who the witch is and her sound
7. bucket fitting
8. program notes
9. so much character definition
10. puppy, horse, water, blue
11. new cast member, new trilogy
12. music choices coming in
13. build begins of costumes and set begins, light plot complete
14. marketing materials

I made assurances to the cast at the end of last week that we would be slowing down. For a few days, we really did. Now, the pace has naturally picked up again. It was necessary and important to allow some breathing time and room for growth. The principle that you only grow when you sleep certainly applies to this kind of work. If you don't rest, you'll not retain. And I say that I could happily work on this play for a year-- but the truth is, the pressure of a deadline and the intensity of the project will instill in the production a hot energy that is unmatchable in another circumstance. So, I don't really want to imagine the process another way.

It is clear to that we will just barely be ready to move downstairs into the theatre for tech, but we will be ready. The prolonged tech period due to thanksgiving will be blessing that allows us to push very hard up until that break (and then sleep (grow)). We will have choreographed, blocked and worked nearly every single moment of the quite epic play, and so, when we head down, it will feel like we are moving an army of ideas and moments. A new chaos will be created, and one moment at a time we will clean it up again. I feel a certain calm knowing this process of play-making and my personal habits so well.
I am very excited to see what we will make!

For He's A Jolly Good Fellow

Would this song be in period? the short answer is YES, but there is a long answer too.

The tune has apparently a long history, with some people dating it back to the crusades adapted from tunes by Arabs in Palestine. This interpretation is now contested as the structure of the tune is more similar to Louis XIV France. At any rate, it was known in France by the 1700's as 'Malbrouck s'en va-t-en guerre' (after the Duke of Marlborough), and it was made popular by Marie Antoinette. It was so much associated with France that Beethoven used it in a symphony to celebrate a military victory over France.

The first English use of the air seems to be a satyrical song about the siege of Gibraltar, "D'Artois returns from Spain", written about 1782.

It soon became popular in England after this, and was used chiefly as an instrumental piece for violin or flute, and finally became a teaching piece on the harpsichord. About 1830, however, somebody used the melody for the words, "We Won't Go Home Till Morning", second verse "For He's A Jolly Good Fellow", and from that time on the melody has spread all over the world.

-- From Grove's Dictionary of Music and Musicians.

Wikipedia notes that the song has different American and British lyrics:

American lyrics
For he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow
For he's a jolly good fellow (pause), which nobody can deny
Which nobody can deny, which nobody can deny
For he's a jolly good fellow (pause), which nobody can deny

British and Australian lyrics
For he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow
For he's a jolly good fellow (pause), and so say all of us
And so say all of us, and so say all of us
For he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow
For he's a jolly good fellow (pause), and so say all of us

Victorian Etiquette

Many of the Victorian etiquette rules explicitly reinforce gender and class boundaries. ladies behave differently with gentlemen or with other ladies, as well as with people of higher, same, or lower class.

here is a collection of etiquette rules culled from different sources. not all of them refer to actions in the play but they are included because they give more context. the list is already trimmed down A LOT, which gives an indication of how regimented life was.

the list is organized in sections:

The Basic Rules of Etiquette
Victorian Etiquette - Etiquette on the Street
Rules for Conversation
Etiquette in Church
Victorian Etiquette - Etiquette When Visiting
Victorian Etiquette - At Teas and Receptions
Victorian Etiquette - On Mourning
Victorian Etiquette - Breaches of Etiquette
The Qualities of a Gentleman
Rules for Balls
Courtship and Fanning Rules

after you've skimmed through this, take the test!!
this link takes you to a site where you can be in different situations and have to pick the most appropriate dress, decide what to do in response to certain events, etc. you can play as a man or a woman, at home, at the ball, at the gentleman's club, etc..

http://www.mccord-museum.qc.ca/en/keys/games/17


Victorian Etiquette - The Basic Rules of Etiquette

Remember that, valuable as is the gift of speech, silence is often more valuable.

Learn to speak in a gentle tone of voice.

Learn to say kind and pleasant things when opportunity offers.

Learn to deny yourself and prefer others.

Victorian Etiquette - Etiquette on the Street

The true lady walks the street, wrapped in a mantle of proper reserve, so impenetrable that insult and coarse familiarity shrink from her, while she, at all times, carries with her a congenial atmosphere which attracts all, and puts all at their ease.

It is proper that the lady should first recognize the gentleman. A gentleman will never fail to bow in return to a lady; but a lady may not feel at liberty to return a gentleman’s bow, which places him in a rather unpleasant position. Therefore, a lady should give the first smile or bow. She must refrain, at all times, from using the gentleman’s Christian name.

In bowing, the head should be best; a mere lowering of the eyelids, affected by some people, is rude; but etiquette does not permit a familiar nod, except between business men, or very intimate friends. In passing and repassing on a public promenade or drive, bows are exchanged only at the first meeting.

In carrying canes, umbrellas, and packages, care should be taken that they do not inconvenience others.

In meeting on a street crossing, gentlemen should make way for ladies, and younger persons for older ones.

Ladies and gentlemen, when meeting on the sidewalk, should always pass to the right.

In the evening or whenever safety may require, a gentleman should give a lady his arm.

A gentleman may take two ladies upon his arms, but under no circumstances should the lady take the arms of two gentlemen.

A gentleman will assist a lady over from an omnibus or carriage, without waiting for the formality of an introduction.

A true lady will go quietly and unobtrusively about her business when on the street, never seeking to attract the attention of the opposite sex, at the same time recognizing acquaintances with a courteous bow, and friends with pleasant words of greeting.


Rules for Conversation

Rise to one's feet as respect for an older person or dignitary.

A true gentleman tips their hat to greet a lady, opens doors, and always walks on the outside.

Conversation is not to talk continually, but to listen and speak in our turn.

Do not monopolize conversation or interrupt another speaker to finish his story for him.

Gentlemen should use but very little perfume, as too much of it is in bad taste.

A lady, when crossing the street, must raise her dress a bit above the ankle while holding the folds of her gown together in her right hand and drawing them toward the right. It was considered vulgar to raise the dress with both hands as it would show too much ankle, but was tolerated for a moment when the mud is very deep.

A young lady should be expected to shine in the art of conversation, but not too brightly. Etiquette books of the era concentrate on the voice, rather than the content of speech, encouraging her to cultivate that distinct but subdued tone.

When introduced to a man, a lady should never offer her hand, merely bow politely and say, "I am happy to make your acquaintance."

While courting, a gentleman caller might bring only certain gifts such as flowers, candy or a book. A woman could not offer a gentleman any present at all until he had extended one to her, and then something artistic, handmade and inexpensive was permissible.

A gentleman may delicately kiss a lady's hand, the forehead, or at most, the cheek.

If you are conversing with people who know less than you, do not lead the conversation where they cannot follow.

A lady should never join in any rude plays that will subject her to be kissed or handled in any way by gentlemen, e.g., if a hand reaches out to admire a breast pin, draw back and take it off for inspection.

Etiquette in Church

A gentleman should remove his hat as soon as he enters the doors of the church, and should and replace it on his head after service until he has reached the outer vestibule.

Victorian Etiquette - Etiquette When Visiting

Do not be in haste to seat yourself; one appears fully as well and talks better, standing for a few moments.

A man should always remain standing as long as there are any women standing in the room.

A man should never take any article from a woman's hands--book, cup, flower, etc.--and remain seated, she standing.

Do not meddle with, or stare at the articles in the room.

Do not call across the length of the room if you wish to address any one. Cross the room and speak to him quietly.

Do not walk around the room, examining pictures, while waiting for the hostess.

Do not introduce politics, religion or other weighty topics for conversation when making calls.

Do no, if a gentleman, seat yourself upon the sofa beside the hostess, or in near proximity, unless invited to do so.

Do not scratch your head or use a toothpick, earspoon or comb.

Use a handkerchief when necessary, but without glancing at it afterwards. Also be as quiet and unobtrusive in the action as possible.

Do not tell long stories, argue, talk scandal or rumors and do not attack the religious beliefs of anyone present.

Do not enter a room without first knocking and receiving an invitation to come in.

It is not acceptable to reject any apology directed your way. In turn, you must always offer an apology if you have caused ill feelings.

Victorian Etiquette - At Teas and Receptions

The day and hour of an afternoon tea may be written on a visiting card. For an afternoon reception, an "At Home" card is used.

Only simple refreshment should be served at an afternoon tea. Thin slices of bread and butter, sandwiches, fancy biscuits or cake, tea, coffee, or chocolate, ice-cream and bouillon. Punch and lemonade may also be served, but no wine or alcoholic drinks.Ladies Taking Tea

The hostess should shake hands with her guests and receive them cordially; any formality is out of place on an informal occasion.

If the number of guests is small, the hostess should walk about the room, talking with her visitors. If large guest list, she should remain near the door and have the aid of other ladies who should help entertain the guests, ask them to take refreshments and make introductions when necessary.

Victorian Etiquette - On Mourning

Mourning clothes are the families outward display of their inner feelings.

The deepest mourning clothes are black, symbolizing spiritual darkness. They are made from a non-reflective paramatta silk or the less expensive bombazine. The dresses are trimmed with crape in a peculiar crimped shape appearance produced by heat. Crape was chosen for mourning clothes as it doesn't combine well with any other clothing. After a period of time, the crape could be removed and the color of the dress lightened as mourning goes on to gray, mauve and then white.

Men have it easy as they simply wear their dark suits along with black gloves, hatbands and cravats. Children are not expected to wear mourning clothes, though sometimes you will find girls wearing white dresses.

The length of time spent mourning depends on your relationship to the deceased and are dictated by society. Widows are expected to wear full mourning dress for two years; everyone else less--children mourning parents or vice versa one year, for grandparents and siblings six months, aunts and uncles two months.

Victorian Etiquette - Breaches of Etiquette

To remove one's gloves when making a formal call.

To stare around the room.

For a caller who is waiting the entrance of the hostess to open the piano or touch it if it is open.

To go to the room of an invalid unless invited.

To look at your watch when calling.

To walk around the room when waiting for the hostess.

To open or shut a door, raise or lower a window curtain, or in any other way alter the arrangement of a room when visiting.

Turn your chair so that you back faces another guest.

To play with any ornament in the room or to seem to be aware of anything but the company present while visiting.

To remain when you find the host or hostess dressed to go out.

To make remarks about another caller who has just left the room.

The Qualities of a Gentleman

He acts kindly from the impulse of his kind heart.

He is brave, because, with a conscience void of offence, he has nothing to fear.

He is never embarrassed, for he respects himself and is profoundly conscious of right intentions.
He keeps his honor unstained, and to retain the good opinion of others he neglects no civility.

He respects even the prejudices of men whom he believes are honest.

He opposes without bitterness and yields without admitting defeat.

He is never arrogant, never weak.

He bears himself with dignity, but never haughtily.

Too wise to despise trifles, he is too noble to be mastered by them.

To superiors he is respectful without servility; to equals courteous; to inferiors kind.

He carries himself with grace in all places, is easy but never familiar, genteel without affection.

He unites gentleness of manner with firmness of mind.

He commands with mild authority, and asks favors with grace and assurance.

It is almost a definition of a gentleman to say he is one who never inflicts pain. This description is both refined and, as far as it goes, accurate. He is mainly occupied in merely removing the obstacles which hinder the free and unembarrassed action of those about him; and he concurs with their movements rather than takes the initiative himself.

His benefits may be considered as parallel to what are called comforts or conveniences in arrangements of a personal nature: like an easy chair or a good fire, which do their part in dispelling cold and fatigue, though nature provides both means of rest and animal heat without them.

The true gentleman in like manner carefully avoids whatever may cause ajar or a jolt in the minds of those with whom he is cast; -- all clashing of opinion, or collision of feeling, all restraint, or suspicion, or gloom, or resentment; his great concern being to make every one at their case and at home.

He has his eyes on all his company; he is tender towards the bashful, gentle towards the distant, and merciful towards the absurd; he can recollect to whom he is speaking; he guards against unseasonable allusions, or topics which may irritate; he is seldom prominent in conversation, and never wearisome. He makes light of favours while he does them, and seems to be receiving when he is conferring.

He never speaks of himself except when compelled, never defends himself by a mere retort, he has no ears for slander or gossip, is scrupulous in imputing motives to those who interfere with him, and interprets everything for the best.

He is never mean or little in his disputes, never takes unfair advantage, never mistakes personalities or sharp sayings for arguments, or insinuates evil which he dare not say out. From a long-sighted prudence, he observes the maxim of the ancient sage, that we should ever conduct ourselves towards our enemy as if he were one day to be our friend.

He has too much good sense to be affronted at insults, he is too well employed to remember injuries, and too indolent to bear malice. He is patient, forbearing, and resigned, on philosophical principles; he submits to pain, because it is inevitable, to bereavement, because it is irreparable, and to death, because it is his destiny. If he engages in controversy of any kind, his disciplined intellect preserves him from the blunder.

Rules for Balls

Any number over a hundred guests constitutes a "large ball;" under fifty it is merely a "dance."

Certain fashionables seek to gain a kind of reputation by the odd choice of their attire, and by their eagerness to seize upon the first caprices of the fashions. Propriety with difficulty tolerates these fancies of a spoiled child; but it applauds a woman of sense and taste, who is not in a hurry to follow the fashions, and asks how long they will last, before adopting them; finally, who selects and modifies them with success according to her size and figure.

We are not obliged to go exactly at the appointed hour; it is even fashionable to go an hour later. Married ladies are accompanied by their husbands; unmarried ones, by their mother, or by an escort.

A lady cannot refuse the invitation of a gentleman to dance, unless she has already accepted that of another, for she would be guilty of an incivility which might occasion trouble; she would, moreover, seem to show contempt for him whom she refused, and would expose herself to receive in secret an ill compliment from the mistress of the house. When a young lady declines dancing with a gentleman, it is her duty to give him a reason why, although some thoughtless ones do not. No matter how frivolous it may be, it is simply an act of courtesy to offer him an excuse; while, on the other hand, no gentleman ought so far to compromise his self-respect as to take the slightest offense at seeing a lady by whom he has just been refused, dance immediately after with some one else.

In inviting a lady to dance with you, the words, "Will you honor me with your hand for a quadrille?" or, "Shall I have the honor of dancing this set with you?" are more used now than "Shall I have the pleasure?" or, "Will you give me the pleasure of dancing with you."

Married or young ladies, cannot leave a ball-room or any other party, alone. The former should be accompanied by one or two other married ladies, and the latter by their mother, or by a lady to represent her.

Ladies should avoid talking too much; it will occasion remarks. It has also a bad appearance to whisper continually in the ear of your partner.

The master of the house should see that all the ladies dance; he should take notice, particularly of those who seem to serve as drapery to the walls of the ball-room, (or wall-flowers, as the familiar expression is,) and should see that they are invited to dance. But he must do this wholly unperceived, in order not to wound the self-esteem of the unfortunate ladies.

Gentlemen whom the master of the house requests to dance with these ladies, should be ready to accede to his wish, and even appear pleased at dancing with a person thus recommended to their notice.

In giving the hand for ladies chain or any other figures, those dancing should wear a smile, and accompany it with a polite inclination of the head, in the manner of a salutation. At the end of the dance, the gentleman reconducts the lady to her place, bows and thanks her for the honor which she has conferred. She also bows in silence, smiling with a gracious air.

Dance with grace and modesty, neither affect to make a parade of your knowledge; refrain from great leaps and ridiculous jumps, which would attract the attention of all towards you.

We should retire incognito, in order not to disturb the master and mistress of the house; and we should make them, during the week, a visit of thanks, at which we may converse of the pleasure of the ball and the good selection of the company.

A lady will not cross a ball-room unattended.

A gentleman will not take a vacant seat next to a lady who is a stranger to him. If she is an acquaintance, he may do so with her permission.

White kid gloves should be worn at a ball, and only be taken off at supper-time.

When a gentleman escorts a lady home from a ball, she should not invite him to enter the house; and even if she does so, he should by all means decline the invitation. he should call upon her during the next day or evening.

As the guests enter the room, it is not necessary for the lady of the house to advance each time toward the door, but merely to rise from her seat to receive their courtesies and congratulations. If, indeed, the hostess wishes to show particular favor to some peculiarly honored guests, she may introduce them to others, whose acquaintance she may imagine will be especially suitable and agreeable.

When entering a private ball or party, the visitor should invariably bow to the company. No well-bred person would omit this courtesy in entering a drawing-room; although the entrance to a large assembly may be unnoticed.

Any presentation to a lady in a public ball-room, for the mere purpose of dancing, does not entitle you to claim her acquaintance afterwards; therefore, should you meet her, at most you may lift your hat; but even that is better avoided - unless, indeed, she first bow - as neither she nor her friends can know who or what you are.

Never wait until the signal is given to take a partner, for nothing is more impolite than to invite a lady hastily, and when the dancers are already in their places; it can be allowed only when the set is incomplete.

In private parties, a lady is not to refuse the invitation of a gentleman to dance, unless she is previously engaged. the hostess must be supposed to have asked to her house only those persons whom she knows to be perfectly respectable and of unblemished character, as well as pretty equal in position; and thus, to decline the offer of any gentleman present, would be a tacit reflection on the gentleman or lady of the house.

Courtship and Fanning Rules

Courtship was considered more a career move than a romantic interlude for young men, as all of a woman's property reverted to him upon marriage. Therefore courting was taken very seriously--by both sides. Men and women were careful not to lead the other on unnecessarily.

From the time she was young, a woman was groomed for this role in life--dutiful wife and mother. Properly trained, she learned to sing, play piano or guitar, dance and be conversant about light literature of the day. She also learned French and the rules of etiquette as well as the art of conversation and the art of silence.

Coming out meant a young woman had completed her education and was officially available on the marriage mart. Financial or family circumstances might delay or move up a girl's debut, though typically, she came out when she was seventeen or eighteen. She purchased a new wardrobe for the season, in order to appear her best in public.

A girl was under her mother's wing for the first few years of her social life. She used her mother's visiting cards, or that of another female relative if her mother was dead. This same person usually served as her chaperone, as a single girl was never allowed out of the house by herself, especially in mixed company.

Courtship advanced by gradations, with couples first speaking, then walking out together, and finally keeping company after mutual attraction had been confirmed. But a gentleman had to take care in the early stages of courtship. If he was introduced to a lady at a party for the purpose for dancing, he could not automatically resume their acquaintance on the street. He had to be re-introduced by a mutual friend. And then, only upon permission of the lady.

The lower classes had opportunities to socialize at Sunday Service, Church suppers and holiday balls, while upper classes held their social events throughout the season. The season ran from April to July. Some families arrived in town earlier if Parliament was in session. A typical debutante's day meant she rose at 11a.m. or 12 noon, ate breakfast in her dressing room, attended a concert or drove in the Park, dined at eight, went to the opera, then to three or four parties until 5 a.m--all under the watchful eye of her chaperone.

Great care had to be taken at these public affairs, so as not to offend a possible suitor or his family. Following are some rules of conduct a proper female must adhere to:

* She never approached people of higher rank, unless being introduced by a mutual friend.
* People of lesser rank were always introduced to people of higher rank, and then only if the higher-ranking person had given his/her permission.
* Even after being introduced, the person of higher rank did not have to maintain the acquaintance. They could ignore, or 'cut' the person of lower rank.
* A single woman never addressed a gentleman without an introduction.
* A single woman never walked out alone. Her chaperone had to be older and preferably married.
* If she had progressed to the stage of courtship in which she walked out with a gentleman, they always walked apart. A gentleman could offer his hand over rough spots, the only contact he was allowed with a woman who was not his fiancée.
* Proper women never rode alone in a closed carriage with a man who wasn't a relative.
* She would never call upon an unmarried gentleman at his place of residence.
* She couldn't receive a man at home if she was alone. Another family member had to be present in the room.
* A gentlewoman never looked back after anyone in the street, or turned to stare at others at church, the opera, etc.
* No impure conversations were held in front of single women.
* No sexual contact was allowed before marriage. Innocence was demanded by men from girls in his class, and most especially from his future wife.
* Intelligence was not encouraged, nor was any interest in politics.

A woman was allowed some liberties, however. She could flirt with her fan, as this behavior was within the protocol of accepted behavior. Here are what different signals meant:

Fan fast--I am independent
Fan slow--I am engaged
Fan with right hand in front of face--Come on
Fan with left hand in front of face--Leave me
Fan open and shut--Kiss me
Fan open wide--Love
Fan half open--Friendship
Fan shut--Hate
Fan swinging--Can I see you home?